Yeh! Found our camera.

Our digital camera has been MIA for over a month. I checked all of Raffi's hiding places because I was sure he was the last one to have had it. So today, I moved the couch and low and behold, there was the camera, a cookbook, 2 balls, 3 pens, raisins, papers and a phone book. Thank God.

I will now be able to take good pictures at our family beach house trip in a couple weeks. I've been packing today, because I will be leaving soon to go see my parents.

Raffi is saying "Got it" when he gets something and "home" and some beginnings of "mine." He is getting so tall as well.

This week, I cooked entirely out of the The Toddler Cafe by Jennifer Carden. So far so good. Raffi hasn't like all of the recipes, but they have been pretty tasty. I've liked them. There are several recipes using veges in creative ways. I haven't really had time to do that yet. It has been baking frozen french fries and stuff like that.

Raffi is finally starting to like some chicken. And he has discovered the joy of dipping things in Ranch dressing. So he is already a big ranch fan. He ate a couple bites of chicken nuggets at Mcdonald's. He really likes those apple slices. So it is funny we go to McDonald's for apples. And I sometimes get the yogurt apple walnut snack salad.

I particularly hungry right now, and all my snacking is not even filling me up. Even some chocolate chips!

Somebody come feed me!

Drip, Drip...

I'm beaten down. It is just that plain and simple. I can admit it, I'm not afraid of looking weak. I sometimes talk a good game of being strong, but really life is hard, difficult and frequently blah. No, I don't have cancer, nor is my home getting foreclosed. Yes, I'm probably being over dramatic, but it is the way I feel. It is like chinese water torture, the constant drip drip of life's annoyances, difficulties and struggles. So now that you are feeling totally down as you read this. I'll just leave you. Nah. No, not yet.

One of my favorite verses is a Psalm which I always forget which number since there are like over a hundred of them. And it is Psalm 61:2 "From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

Yes that is me, crying from the end of the earth to God to pull me to His Rock. Save me! I'm wallowing in my own self pity and mired in a sea of conflicts and emotional baggage. What in goodness name has set me off like this, you might ask? Well, I was in a minor rear end traffic accident. I was rear ended on the way to take my little Raffe man to see his doctor. Side note: He has another cold and of course another ear infection. Thank God, we are seeing the ENT this Thursday. End Note.

So it was a little bumper. My neck and shoulders are a bit sore and stiff and I did go see a doctor this morning, just to check it out. But really, I'm fine. But today, I think the heaviest damage is felt in my soul. I just feel beaten down. So I'm publicly saying, Lord, please help me. Please help me in the inside. In the internal workings of my mind in which even talking to dear mom can't resolve.

I apologize, I was hoping I would have some really uplifting end part to this entry, but it ain't going to happen today. I know it will happen.

Kill the cold with cookies.

I'm sitting in my lazy boy chair while Raffi is taking a nap and pattering away at the computer and doing my devotional. I have another cold, I got it just when Raffi was healing from his last one 5 days ago. And of course Raffi's nose started running today! AHhh. This winter sickness season is killing me. It is nonstop relentless. Once fall came I might as well put a sign on my front door, Out sick for Season see you in May! So what good am I doing to help my cold, Girl Scout Cookies. A nice plate assortment of thin mints, samoas, and my homemade oatmeal cookies. I'm trying to suffocate the cold with sugar.

The pic above is me at one of my mom's groups annual luncheon. We get all dressed up and go play without the baby! yeh. I had a blast although I was bummed I did not win any fabulous raffle prizes. But it was all worth it, and I found a new tea I'm in love with; it is from Pete's Coffee and I'm pretty sure is is Xio's Blend. It blends chamomile and peppermint and it is fantastic.

Well, ok I guess I will talk about my lovely son. He is quite the chatter box this past week. He is utilizing some action words such as "See" when he wants to see or do something. He also says "brush" for brush teeth, etc. Last night he brought me a toothbrush container and said "brush, brush." At the moment, he enjoys getting his teeth brushed, I'm not sure how long that will last. He loves to watch the gardeners outside mowing the lawn and blowing all the leaves around. It is great to see a jump in his language development. We had a lot of great plans this week, but I'm unsure as to what we will be able to manage. Oh well. Back to my cookies....

cold, yes, yes again.

Well raffi's nose started running on Tuesday. I got a doctor's appointment that day and I made a good call. Raffi had ear infections in both ears. I knew with liquid in his ears just a week or two ago that he was prone to it again. So we are seeing an Ear, Nose Throat (ENT) Doctor in a couple of weeks. I won't be surprised if we get tubes put in by a couple of months. For being sick and such Raffi is doing pretty good.

Grandpa and Grandma have come for a visit this week and Raff is really showing off. He was so hyper the day they arrive he wouldn't go asleep until after 10pm. He had a great time with them today and I was able to get away and get a haircut (it has been since October) and have lunch with dear super friend Julie.

Well its late and I've got to get some sleep. Night.

Tv is talking to me.

Raffi is pretty much all better from his ear infections, cold and other illnesses. Doug and I are still on the mend. Emotionally it still has been touch and go for me. Some it has to do with last weeks bombshell, my illnesses, being tired and being cooped up in the house. So I've gone a little nutty. I still have a tendency to try to fix things; amazing when you are up against a wall and you think, hhmm, what is the matter of this wall, maybe I'll create an anti-matter gun to blah balh, instead of just asking for help from God.

I regularly watch the new Battlestar Gallatica TV show on the Scifi network. Doug actually got me into it. It is an amazingly deep and complex show. On the most recent episode, the tag line was "This has happened before and will happen again." In the series, the it is the conflict between humans and cylons/machines. But for me it also is true of everything else, including this recent financial crisis. Today, in my bible study, it brought be to the book of Amos, where Israelites wealthy had become rich and complacent and God calls the women of that group "cows" (Amos 4:1). They oppressed the needy for their own greed. I hope that I haven't been one of those cows.

In my bibles notes on Amos, it writes "Everyone was optimistic, business was booming and people were happy (except for the poor and oppressed.) With all the comfort and luxury came self-sufficiency and a false sense of security. But prosperity brought corruption and destruction." Amazing. This has happened before and will happen again."

A bit Better.

Well the days following the last post were not great. I was still feeling pretty sick, I had an embarrassing miscommunication with another lady in my church group, and I was really tired. I knew God was and is with me, but I still wasn't happy about my situation. So I'm learning to walk with God, I just need to walk with Him a little bit happier? But, today, I woke up feeling better all around.

Tales from the Land of Germs

Major news to report: Last week I stopped breastfeeding. Raffi was sick and unable to nurse and then really didn't want to, so he basically weaned himself. It is weird. After 19 months. I'm done. And for some that number will see big and others I won't hold a candle to.

Raffi's newest favorite activity is to grab whatever adult is sitting on the couch by the finger and lead them to the kitchen or the front door. Sometimes it seems for no reason at all, he'll just sit and talk to you. It is hilarious. My girlfriend, Julie, was over for the Super Bowl and he took her to the kitchen multiple times, so she had to hide her hands when he came by.

Some other new developmental feats: he points out Cat or Dog and says the word. He was sitting on my lap and the cat was across the room. I asked him where the cat is (without pointing the cat out) and he got up and walked over to the cat and sort of squatted near him. It was great.

And of course, he is still sick. And now both his parents are sick, and it is kicking our butts.

Pooey!

Raffi's cold was not improving as of yesterday, and it had been like 10 days, so off to the doc we went. And...he has a cold and ear infections, again. So that is 3 in the last 3 months, if he gets 2 more than off to the ENT Specialist.

I'm glad that it got diagnosed. It seems when the ear infection gets cleared up with medicine, the cold soon follows. But I wish we had gone in sooner. Raffi is just a happy sick kid. He has had a couple of times of more than usual fussiness. I always think it is teething because he has his hand in his mouth. He definitely has his father's tolerance to pain.

Colds again and being on the farm.

Raffi got another cold. It is such a bummer on so many levels. It basically cancels our playdates for the week, Raffi has a hard time sleeping because his nose is all clogged and so on and so on. But today, we did escape the house and went to a community farm where moms from my yoga group go to help harvest, weed and volunteer. You get to take some of the produce home with you. Today, we picked some broccoli, swiss chard, and spinach.

It was neat to harvest food right from the ground. Being a suburban gal my whole life, I haven't had this opportunity often. So I was giddy. And Raffi ran around, sometimes trampling poor defenseless growing plants. He dug in the dirt and rearranged the sprinklers and basically had a blast. I have a few pics but I haven't downloaded them yet.

I think Raffi's top incisors are finally cut through, because they do not seem to be bothering him as much. He is still chewing on plastic and such. But his whimpering at night has gone away. So that is a good thing.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Our thanksgiving was fine; we ordered our feast from an Italian Deli recommended by a friend. Some of the items were good, but some were quite bland. But it is always good to have turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce. And I'm glad I didn't have to cook since I've had a weird throat/neck cold this week.

We took Raffi to the park when the sun came out and it was drier (it rained all day tues/wed). He is quite the swing junkie. He could swing for hours. Raffi liked the turkey, so that was fun to feed him his first thanksgiving meal, however small it was.

Raffi's cold was not letting up, so off to the Doc's office we went (Monday). and Low and behold he had ear infections in both ears. I figured he would be super fussy for ear infections. Our little guy certainly has his daddy's tolerance of pain.

Also this week, Raffi's top 2 first molars are coming in. So he has been a little fussy here and there, gnawing on just about everything.

Colds not slowing him down.

Raffi's cold is now in it's third week. Last week, I thought he was all better but he had a couple days of a low-grade fever and then the nose running works really started kicking in. Poor guy and may I also whine that poor me. He wakes up in the middle of the night for hours at a time because he can't breathe through his nose. The funny thing that happened today as a result of us wiping his nose hundreds of times: Raffi pulled a tissue out of the tissue box and wiped his own nose. Doug and I were floored!. Sometime this little guy just scares me(in a good way).

Last week, my yoga moms group went to Sonoma and stayed over night and yes with babies. One of the mom's family has some houses that we were able to stay in. We went wine tasting, going to a total of 6 in two days. With toddlers in tow, that is quite an accomplishment. We got lots of looks, and surprisingly most were complimentary.

While at the Sonoma house, Raffi was playing with a floor fan (that wasn't plugged in) and he tried to plug into the electric outlet. If the prongs were set up correctly he would've actually done it. Talk about another Raffi Brain moment!

Other developments: Raffi is consistently waving bye-bye, clapping unprompted and mimicking words more. He used his ride-on bus as a step stool to play with the door knob and try to turn the light switch. He is putting the phone to his ear and puts Doug's blackberry to his ear like he knows what you are supposed to do with it. It is so much fun to watch him grow up.

Follow-up thoughts and such

Yesterday, I came to a epiphany about my worry about Raffi's weight. I have wanted him to be 20 pounds because #1. He could use his new car seat, and #2. Some notion in my head that he needs to be 20 pounds. So the realization was that just because he reaches 20 pounds isn't going to make him more healthier, happier or really anything of consequence. He will just be 20 pounds. Raffi is healthy and quite happy; so no more fixating on his weight for me!

Did I mention, that Raffi has had a cold all week and lovingly gave it to his mother. Oh yes. While mentioning our colds to my dad, he reminisced about all the illnesses we brought home to him and mom. Especially, the time my brother and I gave my dad the chicken pox; which for an adult is much worse. He was quite miserable, I remembered as well.

I made some odds and ends addition to the blog, i figured it needed some art. I keep telling myself that I'm going to review any artwork that I've come across, ie the Seattle Art Museum and really haven't. Eventually, I will. I hope to take Raffi to the San Jose art museum and also make it back to the San Francisco ones.

Usual Suspects

I blame summertime on my lack of blogging. I feel quite lazy about it. At night, when he is finally asleep, all the wonderful thoughts I had during the day escape me. But he is currently napping so let me say a little nonsense.

Raffi got a bug last week, which included a 102 fever. Luckily it was only a 24 hour type thing and it went away. The past couple of nights I didn't give him any Tylenol because he didn't have the fever...well he was waking up almost every hour and sometimes twice in a hour. It was a return to the old days where he nursed all the time. Eegags. So into the doctor's office we went today. And as usual it is a sore throat. At least I have something to blame now and back we go on the Tylenol. His weigh WITH clothes was 19lbs 9ous. Which still seems light compared to how he looks. It feels like it will take forever for him to reach 20 lbs! Normally toddlers will not gain as much weight during this time and lean out a bit. Raffi obviously doesn't need to lean out at all.

On other fronts, I purchased and used for the first time a slow cooker. It is a small 2 1/2 quart size: perfect for Doug and I. I made a beef bean chili that came out pretty good. It works great in that earlier in the day I have more free time and raffi is not all crazed; I can prepare all the ingredients. And then later dinner time, when raffi possibly is melting down, we just dish and serve. I hope to use it frequently, i know how these convenience electronics are. You buy them and then not use them. So we shall see how it goes.

Cold Update 2008

Raphael is sitting up with minimal assistance. I/Hubbie will usually give him a semi-circle buffer of parental soft flesh to fall into. When he is placed on his stomach he is kicking his legs and you can see it in his eyes that he wants to crawl, he just can't quite figure it out.

Info already on the carepage:
Raphael appears to be healing well and I hope he will completely symptom free by the end of this week. He had a fever last Thursday night, which prompted a trip to the doctor's office. He was prognosed with a cold, but hadn't infected his ears or chest. So that was good news. The doc said to bring him back in if he got worse. Thankfully over the weekend he slowly got better. He is only coughing a couple times a day now.

My mom, the grandma, came for a visit this past weekend and everyone had a great time, even with Raffi's cold. It was nice for me to get a break with the extra hands. I even got some time alone! I drove around and wandered around Best Buy. Wasn't too exciting, but it was still nice. Next time I hope to plan ahead and get my hair cut.