my bro's rock band

My brother is in a band called Cubicle, and their music video Wall Street Polka made it on an CNN international Ireport. My brother, Mark, is the serious looking drummer.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Our thanksgiving was fine; we ordered our feast from an Italian Deli recommended by a friend. Some of the items were good, but some were quite bland. But it is always good to have turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce. And I'm glad I didn't have to cook since I've had a weird throat/neck cold this week.

We took Raffi to the park when the sun came out and it was drier (it rained all day tues/wed). He is quite the swing junkie. He could swing for hours. Raffi liked the turkey, so that was fun to feed him his first thanksgiving meal, however small it was.

Raffi's cold was not letting up, so off to the Doc's office we went (Monday). and Low and behold he had ear infections in both ears. I figured he would be super fussy for ear infections. Our little guy certainly has his daddy's tolerance of pain.

Also this week, Raffi's top 2 first molars are coming in. So he has been a little fussy here and there, gnawing on just about everything.

Colds not slowing him down.

Raffi's cold is now in it's third week. Last week, I thought he was all better but he had a couple days of a low-grade fever and then the nose running works really started kicking in. Poor guy and may I also whine that poor me. He wakes up in the middle of the night for hours at a time because he can't breathe through his nose. The funny thing that happened today as a result of us wiping his nose hundreds of times: Raffi pulled a tissue out of the tissue box and wiped his own nose. Doug and I were floored!. Sometime this little guy just scares me(in a good way).

Last week, my yoga moms group went to Sonoma and stayed over night and yes with babies. One of the mom's family has some houses that we were able to stay in. We went wine tasting, going to a total of 6 in two days. With toddlers in tow, that is quite an accomplishment. We got lots of looks, and surprisingly most were complimentary.

While at the Sonoma house, Raffi was playing with a floor fan (that wasn't plugged in) and he tried to plug into the electric outlet. If the prongs were set up correctly he would've actually done it. Talk about another Raffi Brain moment!

Other developments: Raffi is consistently waving bye-bye, clapping unprompted and mimicking words more. He used his ride-on bus as a step stool to play with the door knob and try to turn the light switch. He is putting the phone to his ear and puts Doug's blackberry to his ear like he knows what you are supposed to do with it. It is so much fun to watch him grow up.

Lions and Tigers and Astronauts?

1. This past week: Raffi is sleeping through the night. (I nurse him to sleep and for a nap; so 2-3 times a 24 hour period.) Sometimes he does wake up at night, I rub his back and most of the time he goes right back to sleep.

2. Last Friday: I went out for my first mom's night out (after 7pm). It was the first time I'd been out without the baby past 7pm. It is weird driving in the dark. I don't do it that often. It was great. Doug was able to get Raffi down with no problem. Yeh!!!

3. Halloween was tons of fun. Raffi was an astronaut and looked super cute in his so professional looking costume. (Thanks for picking it out Sam!) We went to 2 Halloween playdates (One I dressed up as an Egyptian Mummy...from space) and did a little 10am trick or treating at a local little town main street. I'm looking forward to next year when it will be a little more interactive for him.

4. Mid October: Raffi and I went down to So. Cal for a visit with family and friends. It went well logisitically and Raffi had a great time. He started repeating words more often including: Thank You, Turtle, nite nite, fish, bye bye and other random words which he never repeats.

Got by me.

I've actually had lots to talk about the last couple of weeks. But I didn't.

I'll at least get in the noticeables for today. A pic at the park, he was having a great time in the swing. He also learned how to go down the slide staying seated up. Before he sort of fell back and slid on his back. He also seemed to get the rocking horse.

So to some highlights:
Two Fridays ago, I had my mother meltdown moment. At my church moms group, Raffi was crying too much so they called me to take him. (it was only like 30 min into the program.) I felt like the childcare people just gave up on him and the manager said she "needed her caregivers in the room with the kids" not strolling around crying babies. I almost left and cried in the car, but a mom at my table stopped me and told me to just hang around with Raffi. Which turn to be a little difficult because he wanted to run around. Later that day, Raffi deliberately kept doing a no-no, while looking at me. I didn't know that it (disciplining) would start so early. Now when I look back at that day, it doesn't seem that bad. But mentally, I was not in a happy place.

Raffi had his NICU follow-up meeting with a developmental specialist and a social worker. After Raffi got over his shyness he did very well. There was some speech recognition that we are keeping an eye on. But overall he is doing great. The social worker started going on this tangent that at 20lbs he was so underweight that we should start fortifying his milk and feeding him extra butter! After I got off the ceiling, I calmed down, and realized later that our pediatrician thinks he is doing fine and that trying to force extra calories won't translate to weight gain.

We still have been doing the usual music classes, playgroups, and park time. Lots of fun.

Oh and this last Friday, we went to MOPS, the church moms group. I talked with the caregivers and told them to work with him, and not to call me unless he was ill. So Raffi pretty much cried the entire 2 hours, but he was more mad than upset. I just hope at some point he will get over it before his 8th birthday. I know he will, but there is just that fear (with so many things about parenting).

So badly needing an update

Playing around.

Hosting a Playdate.

Grandparent Fun

The Grandparents (plus one great-grandparent) was a success. I know they had a great time and enjoyed experiencing Raffi in person, instead of over a web cam. My father and I played a little par 3 golf, while my mom babysat. On Saturday, Doug and I had a date and saw the latest Batman movie. We came home to Raffi taking a nap on my mom, it was so cute. I sadly didn't take as many pictures as I have on previous visits. Of course, there was a lot of eating of food and dessert, especially chocolate cakes (from various restaurants.)




My parents could probably better describe their visit, but Raffi had a blast for sure. He was going a mile a minute talking and running around. He always kept an eye to make sure someone was paying attention to him and loved to play peek-a-boo with the grandparents. Raffi also had some amazing conversations with my 92 year old grandma Audrey. I'm not sure this week can compare with the last, with his favorite audience gone.

Music Class and reading

I forgot to mention in my last blog that I finished the novel I was reading; Blue Heart Blessed by Susan Meissner. Or did I mention it. Now I can't remember. ...Nope, just check, I hadn't. I blogged that I was reading, but not that I finished. Which, I did. It has been like over a year or so since I finished a fiction book. It felt victorious.

Music class went well. As soon as Raffi's little feet hit the classroom floor he was running around examining the doors, electrical outlets, the boom box, etc. He was in a room full of strangers and usually he is glued to my side. Nope, not that day. He would swing by give me a smile and keep on moving; Basically through the entire music class. While other children were sitting calmly on their mother's, grandma's or nanny's lap. But no, not Raffi. I guess he really does have my DNA in him. Ha ha. I'm starting to get a little frightened of what life is going to be like for the next decade or so with an active boy!

Raffi did clap a couple of times and did his own dance, which is twirling around with his head cocked to one side. For a first class, I declare it was successful. I'm looking forward to watching his development in this class.

Today, my parents and my dad's mother are coming for a visit for several days. I'm really excited. I can't wait for them to witness the little boy that has emerged from my baby.

Big Boy Seat

Raffi in his front facing car seat today. He sort of seemed amazed and apathetic all at the same time.

We got good news from the doctor's office today; Raffi's iron level is good. I'm so relieved. I never was really diligent about getting the iron in him, becuase he threw it up most of the time. (At his 9 month appt, his iron levels were low.)

It was a slow starting day, we didn't leave the house until 4pm to go to the grocery store and run errands. Oh well. Glad I'm not on a clock! Tomorrow is our first music lessons, so I hope that goes well.

Follow-up thoughts and such

Yesterday, I came to a epiphany about my worry about Raffi's weight. I have wanted him to be 20 pounds because #1. He could use his new car seat, and #2. Some notion in my head that he needs to be 20 pounds. So the realization was that just because he reaches 20 pounds isn't going to make him more healthier, happier or really anything of consequence. He will just be 20 pounds. Raffi is healthy and quite happy; so no more fixating on his weight for me!

Did I mention, that Raffi has had a cold all week and lovingly gave it to his mother. Oh yes. While mentioning our colds to my dad, he reminisced about all the illnesses we brought home to him and mom. Especially, the time my brother and I gave my dad the chicken pox; which for an adult is much worse. He was quite miserable, I remembered as well.

I made some odds and ends addition to the blog, i figured it needed some art. I keep telling myself that I'm going to review any artwork that I've come across, ie the Seattle Art Museum and really haven't. Eventually, I will. I hope to take Raffi to the San Jose art museum and also make it back to the San Francisco ones.

What A Day!

Today, Raffi and I had are first meeting for the MOPS Group. Raffi went to childcare at the church and I went to the group meeting with food, introductions, quick devotional and other such talkings that go along with moms meeting each other for the first time: talking about our kids. I didn't see Raffi cry myself because I slipped out of the room while he was playing. But another mom said he was crying while she was dropping off her crying child. But he and I made it through the 2 hours without any rescuing!

When I picked him up from the "toddlers" room, he was playing with a chair and didn't notice that I was calling his name. But the look on his face was amazing. He was not happy about the situation, he would play(it said), but gosh darnit, he wouldn't like it!

Then we ran over to a birthday party at park in the hills. I nursed him for his lunch and then off we were to his 15 month well baby checkup with the Doc. He is 19 1/2 pounds and 30 inches long. The Doctor gave us the blessing to use our front facing car seat and I think it is time. Raffi's feet easily hit the back seat in front of him. He may not have the weight, but he is a little tall for his current seat. The conversation made me remember Raffi coming home from the hospital at 4 1/2 pounds!
Also at the Doc's, he received the OK for health and all that and as a parting gift received four vaccination shots (including MMR) and had his blood taken to check his iron level. Of course he screamed like a banshee! He fell asleep in the car but I couldn't get him to go back to sleep once we got in the house. So his entire nap amount for the day was around a half an hour. So for all that he was such a trouper!

After all that I had a glass wine at home. So we traversed through some milestones today and I feel good about it. Thanks for praying for us Mom!

Reading

Here is another pic of Raffi at the mall's playarea. It is so convientant while I'm shopping to just let him run around a little. And I like the best part, FREE. I'm enjoying the walking Raffi. It is fun to interact with him and watch him play. Doug misses the baby, but I surprisingly don't that much. I love to watch him walk/run with such joy.

The last two days while Raffi has napped, I have been reading a novel. Usually I'm just surfing the internet mindlessly. Today, I even had a glass of wine with my novel. It just feels great to read and really get engrossed in the book. Oh, and the glass of wine certainly helps. The book is Blue Heart Blessed by Susan Meissner. So far, I'm really liking it.

This week was going to be really busy with classes, playdates and birthday parties, but Raffi got a cold a couple of days ago, so that has put the "cancel" to many of our plans. The cold doesn't seem to severe, he is sleeping ok. I'm clenching my teeth again, so I must be sleeping more.
Here is a picture of the chocolate chip cookies I made last Friday. They came out great!

Victory of the day: I used multiple coupons at Babies R US for stuff we actually needed. I hate to buy things at full price when I know I could/should have a discount. So I was all coupon geeked out about today's purchase. Part of the purchase is a baby gate. So far we have used the big plastic storage bins, luggage and other odds and ends to coral are little toddler. Day by day he finds new ways to test the perimeter. So it is time to put up the gates!

This pic is from a park playdate on Tuesday. He finally went in the tunnel.

You know when you buy some gadget, small electronics, etc and then never use them. Well, I'm actually using that slow cooker I got. I made a beef Merlot stew earlier this week and today I'm making a marinara mozzarella lasagna. The cookbook I have is "Not your mother's slow cooker for two" or something like that. I like it.

I do watch a little reality TV and most of it is the stchk stuff from Bravo. Top Chef and Project Runway are my favorites. Last night, Stella, the biker chik, was aufed on Project Runway. I knew she was going to be on the chopping block soon. I would love to be able to sew my own designs. I had quite a style of my own in Jr. High/High School. Of course, it was the 80's so it was a little Depeche Mode meets Wham!

Labor Day Weekend Run

Play Time

This past week Raffi began calling out to me using Mama. When he really wants me, the MAMA, comes right out. He also said Hi, in a meaningful appropriate way, to Doug the other day. Of course, when we tried to get him to say it again, he just looked at us.

I'm still enjoying my moms groups, sometimes it is a little daunting with moms I don't know. I'm bound to say something stupid, but I refuse to hide in my house. I will socialize even if I put my foot in my mouth here or there. I've signed Raffi up for some music classes this fall. I'm really looking forward to it, the babies I have seen that have taken it, really get so much from it.

Today, we played at the local mall's indoor play area; It is air conditioned and a slightly cushioned.

Quick Entry

Raffi is taking a nap and once he wakes up we will rush out the door to get to our Mama & Movers Yoga class. But I thought I would drop a quick note that I'm feeling a little better this week. Having a Mom's night out, last night, certainly helped. A group of moms at a bar, drinking and laughing and talking about poop, nursing, lack of sleep, etc. Needless to say, there were some bar patrons around us that looked at us a bit strangely. But we all had a blast. I'm already counting down the time till the next one.

One of my fav things about being a mom and Raffi is when he lays his head on my chest when I'm holding him. He usually does it when he is being shy around other people or he is tired. It just gives me such a happy feeling. A close second when he reaches his arms up to be held and he just collapses his arms around my neck. And thirdly, I love to hear his laugh and giggles; most often heard when he is being tickled or playing peekaboo.

Oh, and another thing, If I had a dollar for every time someone says that Raffi is adorable, gorgeous or so cute, we could afford a house in San Francisco!

Vacation Hangover

I hate vacation hangovers. The days after our return, I felt angry, frustrated and frequently took it out on the husband, (sorry honey.) To top it off, Raffi's #7 tooth is coming in, so his moods and sleep are erratic. So it hasn't been the cherriest of days lately.

The vacation is over and that means my return to home is a return to motherhood that at times lately feels like it is choking me out. This month, I would of had ten years of service at my former job if I was still working. And the ongoing political happenings remind me of happy times at work; Traveling carefree, hanging out with the guys, doing a job I thought was important. Of course, my memory glosses over the 12 hours of standing, rarely being home, stress upon stress, and many other hardships that I complained about so frequently while I was working.

So a little nostalgia and the fact that I can't go out after 6pm, because I have to put down Raffi, makes for a little bit of stir crazy Darcy. This too will pass, I know.

Home again.

We all made it home safely yesterday. The travel was much smoother the way back. Over the weekend, we went up to Anacortes, WA for lunch and looked at the pretty Victorian houses overlooking the San Juan Islands. On Saturday, we went to the Children's museum, had lunch with some old friends, and went to Tacoma, WA for some of Doug's favorite Teriyaki. On Sunday, we hit Pike Place market for breakfast for one last hooray before we packed up and headed to the airport. Raffi did great on the plane, I think his ears were bothering him a bit on the descent, even with nursing, but he is such a champ.


This is a picture of Raffi in the hotel lounge area. He loved to run around the lobby of the hotel. In this pic he was looking out the window and talking to all the people that walked by.

But, as sad as I was to leave Seattle it is good be home. This week, Doug is off from work, so we hope to have lots of fun, just hanging out.

Hello from Seattle!

We are currently in Seattle this week. Hubbie had a work conference, so we tagged along. Needless to say, Raffi and I are having more fun than he is.

Our trip started this past Sunday as we flew from SFO to Seattle. Of course, as airlines go, stuff happens. We left our house at around 1pm for a 4:15p flight. Checking in and security was a little sweaty but a breeze. As we got to our gate, there was a notice that their was a delay of an hour. So we finally boarded the plane sometime after 5pm. And I could see some workers in the cockpit. Not a good sign. The captain announces that their is some mechanical minutia that needs to be fixed. We wait. and wait. Then they say it is going to be some time, so they let us off the plane to wait at the gate. Which was a godsend with Raffi. He just loved to run around the airport. Such wide open spaces, he would just giggle and run! I hope to get video of it on the way back. So finally, the mechanical things were "fixed" or whatever and we were off. We got to our hotel room at 10:50pm. Luckily, right in time to order room service before it closed.

So flying with a toddler. Just flying in general is not my favorite thing to do. Raffi did pretty good. He got fussy, here and there, but overall he was a champ!

So far this week, Raffe and I ate are way through Pike Place Market, shopped, went to the art museum, aquarium, and then back to the Pike Place Market for more food. Well, I guess I ate the most, but Raffi did try some new foods. I have been pigging out. Some good stuff.

I've made some observations about traveling with a kid, as well. You find all the elevators and you pick restaurants based on whether they have a high chair, etc. Most people either have/had their own kids, so they understand or they are nice about it. And then their are other people that just don't get it.



One worker at the art museum treated me like I was an idiot. I know my brain isn't what it used to be (and you know it wasn't much before anyway) but just because I look tired and carrying enough loads to pack a mule, and my child might get fussy and ruin your ambiance, doesn't give you the chops to treat me like an idiot. Ok, that was my rant about that.

Usual Suspects

I blame summertime on my lack of blogging. I feel quite lazy about it. At night, when he is finally asleep, all the wonderful thoughts I had during the day escape me. But he is currently napping so let me say a little nonsense.

Raffi got a bug last week, which included a 102 fever. Luckily it was only a 24 hour type thing and it went away. The past couple of nights I didn't give him any Tylenol because he didn't have the fever...well he was waking up almost every hour and sometimes twice in a hour. It was a return to the old days where he nursed all the time. Eegags. So into the doctor's office we went today. And as usual it is a sore throat. At least I have something to blame now and back we go on the Tylenol. His weigh WITH clothes was 19lbs 9ous. Which still seems light compared to how he looks. It feels like it will take forever for him to reach 20 lbs! Normally toddlers will not gain as much weight during this time and lean out a bit. Raffi obviously doesn't need to lean out at all.

On other fronts, I purchased and used for the first time a slow cooker. It is a small 2 1/2 quart size: perfect for Doug and I. I made a beef bean chili that came out pretty good. It works great in that earlier in the day I have more free time and raffi is not all crazed; I can prepare all the ingredients. And then later dinner time, when raffi possibly is melting down, we just dish and serve. I hope to use it frequently, i know how these convenience electronics are. You buy them and then not use them. So we shall see how it goes.

Verse on my mind

Isaiah 55:2

2 Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance.



=

Walking Video

Finally! The Birthday cake video.

Walking and Sleeping (sort of)

My little man is so on a mission. He is walking up a storm. At night, he should be winding down, but no he is doing laps around our living room. Laughing while he walks and cruises away. I have yet to post the video from his bday cake eating and now I have a walking video to add to my "To Post" List. Please forgive me for my tardiness; I'll blame the summer, that is convenient.

Raffi’s sleep schedule is in flux at the moment. I worry about how to go about getting him to sleep, weaning, bed situation, etc. It does take up alot of my energy. I don’t know what to do. He only nurses to sleep, and occasionally will roll over still awake at bedtime and fall asleep on his own. But when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he is in a state of distress and will wake up completely (and usually for an hour, if I don’t nurse him right away.) So here is my prayer:

Lord, please forgive me for taking back this worry and “working” on it. I know I don’t work on it very well and I need to leave it with you. I give it back to you right now. Lord, you are in control. I only need to trust you. Babies and toddlers have been going to sleep for thousands of years by your design before their was 50 different sleep books and baby whispers. Lord, help me to rely and trust in You.

Walker

I'm finally calling it. Raffi is walking; not all the time and not long. But he is walking. He will stroll a couple of steps and stop, seemingly forgetting where he is going. Ha.

Yipee!

All-Points-Bulletin! White Female, approximately 30+ years of age, has escaped her home and her 13 month old son. She was last seen carrying golf clubs. Please approach with caution, she has been attached to her infant for a year. She is considered crazed and possibly delusional. End.

Yes. I had mommy time out! Yeh, thanks Hubbie. This actually wasn't the first time, but really it has been close to the 2nd or 3rd time. And this time I feel like I actually used my time well. I went to the driving range and smacked some golf balls, ate some tacos, ice cream and sat at a coffee shop and mulled over some writing ideas. Raffi did great for his daddy, too. Raffi has been very attached to me, basically since November, so it has made it difficult for me to get away. This was such an answer to prayer. Thank you God.

Vacation.

Happy 4th of July! I remember last year I was leaving the NICU/Hospital visiting Raffi while Fireworks were going off. Now he is eating Korean take out food and some tangerine Popsicle. They grow up so quickly, I've heard.

Raffi and I had a great vacation with the family at the beach. We drove at night this time which made the trips much easier. Raffi's development is just growing by leaps and bounds. He is walking a couple of steps, between objects that are pretty close together. He is also waving when you say goodbye.

I know there was more I was thinking in putting in here, but I can't remember them at the moment, my child is beating me.

Hot.

Wow the last couple of days have been hot! We have luckily avoiding the heat by hiding in our air conditioned house. When we first got to San Jose and were looking at real estate, our agent thought we were a little particular about absolutely having to have air conditioning. HHmm. I don't think we so crazy now!

Well, anyway. On Thursday, Raffi's visit with Allyson, the developmental specialist (for now on will be know as Allyson; ds is just so long a word to type.), the visit went really well. Raffi babbled for her and even played with her. Allyson thought that raffi could walk in about two weeks or so and pronounced that he is doing really well with his development. So that was a happy day.

This weekend, besides hiding in the house, Raffi has tried and loved eggo waffle and bacon. He also tried mango and avocado and promptly spit it back up. We will keep having to work on those. But everyone loves bacon. hhmm. (and for you worry warts it was a very small piece, i'm not trying to clog his arteries at 1 year of age). Raffi is about fed up with baby food, he will get through about a half a jar and start whining. But you put some banana pieces or cheerios in front of him and GAME ON!

It is a little more difficult than I thought to switch to thinking about feeding him table type food. Doug and I eat so haphazardly. But we will adjust, as always.

Regular Days

This week has been full of regular days. Good days, nonetheless. Some of the things Raffi and I have done this week are: Lunch with the mom's group, gymboree open play time, lots of laundry and those fun old doctor visits! Today we are going to a playdate at a mom's house and the developmental specialist comes this afternoon. Tomorrow, we hopefully will make it to the a park playdate with my church's mom group. Geesh! I don't think I knew how busy one can get with a baby.

Next week, we head down to So. Cal to be with family for a week. I'm looking forward to showing off my boy. Doug suspects that he will start walking while he is down there. We shall see.

Oh, I'll post a funny pic of raffi at our lunch out the other day. What a noodle!

Party Pics and Doctor Info

Here are some pics of the party goers getting into the Pirate Spirit! Thanks Guys!







Above is the pic of Raffi, who would rather eat a banana then eat a sugary cake! Well, ok, he really was nap deprived, but I'll just remember the good eating choice.

Today was Raffi's "one year appointment" and it went pretty well. He weighed 18lbs 6ounces which is less than last week because I forgot to note that he was wearing clothes when he was weighed at 19lbs. I was still a little concerned because his growth has slowed recently. He looks great and is healthy, so the doctor isn't concerned. The doc just said is probably because Raffi is a preemie. Raffi got a few vaccinations but not as many as I had feared.

This afternoon we went to the open play time at our local gymboree and had some fun rolling around on the cushioned mats. He did well with the new environment and having had 2 shots that morning.

Raffi says thanks(and his parents do to) to everyone who came to the party and all the cool gifts he got. SO spoiled!!

Party!

The party was a success! Thanks to everyone who came and celebrated with us. Yeh! Raffi. We gave Raffi his own birthday cake while surrounded with onlookers; and the lack of a nap and Raffi hit the wall. He didn't even touch the cake! oh it was still funny though. We will have another cake/frosting attempt at the end of the month when we visit family in So. Cal. and maybe we will get some embarrassing photos of frosting face then!

I'll post some photos tomorrow. I can't find the cord and the baby is asleep.

Raffi's one year doctor appt is tomorrow, (it was originally Thurs but was moved up.) Everything should be all square since we just went last week. But I'm a little nervous about the vaccinations. geesh!

OH! I almost forgot. Raffi took two steps of a woobly walk towards me tonight! YEh. He is on his way, he'll be walking in no time.

Birthday Suit

Pre-Day

Yesterday, I was concerned about Raffi's tossing and turning at night, so I took him in to the doctor to rule out an ear infection. And it was ruled out, just a sore throat and a "I don't know what is causing his crazy bedtime manner" from the doctor. But other info, Raff is 19 lbs. I was hoping for more, but I will take it. He is so tall looking and looks much heavier than 19 lbs.

I still haven't posted any video like a promised. I hope to get some up soon.

Tomorrow is Raffi's First Birthday and his party is this Saturday. Although he is not quite aware of it all, I'm excited for him. It is just one of those times that you look back at the previous year and wow. What a year. Who knew that he would be born so early and so small, yet persevere and be so happy and healthy. We are blessed, for sure.

Pirates!

And the winning theme is Pirates. Over the weekend, we went and picked out some great pirate themed decorations and completed some baby proofing. I should have a video of him standing on the website in a little bit.

Moving and Falling

Raffi is crawling, standing and falling. His favorite thing to do is stand against a wall and then lose his balance and go head first into the wall. I think it is easier to guard the President then to protect a baby from himself!

I went to my first playdate yesterday with my new moms group. There were about 10 other babies/toddlers there. Raffi did pretty good, he stayed pretty close to me as he analyzed the situation. But he didn't get overwhelmed and freak out, so it was a big win in my book.

Today we just got back from a picnic with other moms/babies from my yoga class at a local winery. Umm, fun. One mom cut up fruit in portions for adults and another smaller portion for the babies! Quite talented she is. So Raffi dined on some watermelon, cantaloupe and a pickle. Yesterday, he had some beef and white rice, so his food repertoire is coming around nicely.

I'm definitely enjoying the "mom" social life. The mom's group has something almost everyday from playdates at someones house to a park, walk or gymboree play. It is good to have some sort of social life. I never imagined it could be so busy.

This weekend we are "babyproofing." Wish us luck!

More and more

Raffi is baby babbling. Last night he started with the bababa, mamama, and other variations. We have been waiting for this step and very happy he has got to it. He is standing stronger and more a little longer. He just hates to be sitting down.

Here is a pic from our festival day trip a couple of weeks ago. Appropriate, you think?

Yeh!

Raffi stood on his own tonight for about 25-30 seconds. He likes to climb up me and then sort of push off a bit and balance on his own. I'm so excited to see him progressing.

He has been fighting the naptimes lately and seems distracted easily during meals. He just wants to go run around. It will be fun when he is older and we can turn him loose on some park to burn off all that energy.

I joined two local moms groups, one which is year round and another that will start up in fall. I'm looking forward to getting connected with other moms in the area. It certainly has taken me a while to do so. I have enjoyed the mamma/baby yoga class but it is a little expensive and I don't think I will be able to keep doing it. The yoga teacher has started a mamma and movers yoga class, so I can always go to that class once Raffi really gets mobile.

I think Raffi is around 19 pounds. I weighed him on our home scale, which is very good, but oh well it is close. Please pray for Raffi to be meet the 20 pounds by his next doctor appointment on June 19th. That is a goal that the doc would like Raffi to be at by his 1 year old appointment.

Party Theme?

UPDATE: I've posted a blogger poll doohicki to the right of the question below.

What should Raffi's 1st Birthday Party theme be:
Cammo
Pirates
Batman
Superman
or
Something else?

VOTE NOW.

Raffi wants to move...

Raffi is sleeping better the last couple of nights. Still nursing to sleep and waking up often, but not as crazy as when his teething was bothering him. Raffi is trying to stand on his own. He likes to stand next to the sofa to balance and I'm also his fav gym toy. He so wants get moving. Here is a pic from our home photo shoot today.

Corn Syrup Conspriacies et al.

I am viciously anti-corn syrup at the moment. I still will eat foods and drinks that have it, but I get upset about it. If you have ever watched the X-files movie or a 60 minutes episode about corn in the United States. You can't help but get a little paranoid. It is out there and everywhere. Lets make nuclear material out of corn, why not? But corn syrup is sugar to the extreme. It just doesn't seem natural and most food/drink companies put it in their products without abandon. It is just wrong.

Ok, enough of that. And now for something more serious. ... Monkeys are evil. Non no.

Ok. really.

I submitted my first "filler" story article to a Christian magazine. It is around 300 words, so it is a short story. And today, I got my first rejection. I feel like a bona fide writer now. So on to the next magazine and keep submitting it until I'm blue in the face.

Scripture and Developments

Today I felt better than yesterday. Raffi and I got some good sleep, I think he woke up less. And today, twice Raffi pulled himself up from a sitting position to standing. And he went to sleep on his own for his afternoon nap and for bedtime tonight. I had to be right next to him, but hey its a step in the right direction. (normally he only nurses to sleep.) That was encouraging.

And speaking of encouraging, My mom prayed for me and sent me a large email of scripture that she prayed for me; here are a few of my favorites:

Isaiah 40:29 (New International Version)
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version)
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Psalm 27:1 (New International Version)
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—

Philippians 4:13 (New International Version)
13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Ephesians 3:16 (New International Version)
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,

and my own personal favorite:

Psalm 61:2

From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

I love that thought, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. It helps me acknowledge that I can't do it alone. That there is a rock higher than me.

One of those days...

I had a feeling about today when Raffi dumped about a gallon of water on the carpet. His water tub had water in it from a bath the night before and he was exploring on the floor and before I could think "stop." SPLASH! Raffi was a bit upset over the cold water but he dried off fine, the carpet still hasn't dried out.

I felt like my soul was being dragged down my a Volkswagen.

Then he kept spitting up his breakfast and didn't really seem interested in eating. And he didn't want to go down for a nap. So I packed us up to make a trip to whole foods for grapefruit...$80 later.

For Lunch, Raffi only wanted to eat cheerios which he promptly spit up. I trudged through another spell of "i don't want to take a nap." And finally got him down around 4pm.

And there is my soul, hefting that Volkswagen, up a hill and carrying a cello,..barefoot!

UPDATE: The answer: Teething! One of Raffi's top teeth have broken through the gums and probably what has been causing all the hubbub! It feel relieved to have something to claim.

quick hello and pic

I really hope Raffi is teething, because his sleeping is even more erratic the past week or so. I just want to believe that something is causing it becuase that means eventually it will be fixed and he will go back to his regular night waking of 3-4 times a night. Last night, he woke up frequently, I couldn't get back to sleep and then he woke up at 4:30 am and never went back to sleep/as well as I. So I'm a bit tired today. I prayed ferociously for help to keep my bearings today. On the fun side, here is of pic of Raffi today in a new outfit, I bought because I like the "star" (familiar huh!) So cute!

Getting out of the house.

Yes, today we got out of the house. Raffi, my friend Julie and I went to a local food festival with a Cajun theme. We ate breakfast at a local diner and strolled around to view all the booths selling items that I wanted to buy but had no actual need for. I enjoyed the sun on my skin and even better; Raffe was spectacular. He fell asleep in the stroller while we cruised around and didn't even get upset at some Harley Motorcycles that were making lots of noise. It was a great day out. Yeh!

Swimming and Eating

Today at swim class, Raffi actually verbalized and appeared slightly more at ease. His face was still stern like a rock, but I think he is warming up to the whole thing. Sometimes, I think he believes he is in the pool for me, so just deals with it.

The instructor had us sit our child on the edge of the pool and jump/push off into the water and into our arms. Raffi would lean forward as he was about to fall and close his eyes and I would catch him as most of his body would go in the water. It was just amazing to see him come to me like that. He totally trusts me. He doesn't like the big pool but mom, she is ok. After several of these leaps of faith, he then would just sit on the wall and make noises.

"I know these tricks" he probably thought, "If I jump in the water, you are just going to put me back on the wall, so I'll just stay here,...look a toy!"

That afternoon, I was tuckered out, so we both took a nap. It was wonderful.

Saturday afternoon naps...beautiful.

Hunkering Down

It has been around 100 degrees here the past couple of days. So Raffi and I have just laid low in the air conditioned house. So some mind wasting internet searching has gone on and I found this guy on YouTube, and I know I really shouldn't like this. But its sort of goofy and fun:

Cute with Chris

He has a lot of wacky cat stuff and witty dialog. Oh and one of my all time favorite cat websites is:

My Cat Hates You

Hilarious!

PeaceOUT

Development and things.

On Monday, was Raffi's 11 month birthday. I can't believe he is one month shy of his first birthday. I'm tentatively planning a small shindig for our friends in home area. I'm planning for an adult get together in the name of Raffi's bday. I'm looking forward to watching him devour his own little cake. We shall see if he takes the bait.

On Tues, development specialists from a local program assessed Raffi. Because of his prematurity and the slight bleeding on the brain that he had the first week or so after his birth, he qualifies for free development therapy. At first we didn't decide to pursue it because we thought it would label him or some other fear I can't quite describe. But since we saw the development specialist from the hospital, we have warmed up to the idea of getting some help.

They assessed him and he was at or above his adjusted age on gross motor skills, social skills, cognitive ability but was below in communication and listening(related to communication not his hearing.) Raffi has just started verbalizing limited consonants but we learned some ways to encourage his sounds by repeating back what he says and then waiting for his response. Raffi, of course, showed off to the ladies and was cute as ever.

After the appointment, the mom in me felt a little scared, nervous and anxious. It is just one of those things as a parent, that when it comes to your kid, it just makes you sort of crazy. I felt a little depressed, I mean. Once I got some food in me and as the day progressed, I felt much better.

Through this program, we will see a specialist twice a month. I'm looking forward to learning more exercises and ways to encourage Raffi's growth and development. Doug and I both know that he will develop at his own pace, but due to his prematurity, I think any help and attention can only help him.

Video

Here is a music video for your viewing enjoyment of Raffi's first commando style crawl!

Yeh!

I'm so excited. Raffi did a commando style crawl this evening. He hasn't quite gotten to getting his belly off the ground, but he was doing a great job. I have a video of it, but haven't downloaded yet. He also seems to be talking more, previously his "talking" was verbal grunts and other noises without opening his mouth. Suddenly today, he seems to be more verbal.

It is amazing and shows my lack of faith. On Wed of this week, we were at our yoga class and a baby girl around Raffi's adjusted age start crawling, clapping and saying mama and dada. The sacred parent rule is to never compare your baby to other babies. Of course, what do I do? I freak out and get depressed, worrying about Raffi's development. And here he goes, him and God, showing me STOP WORRYING YOU FOOL! Well maybe not exactly those words but something pretty close.

So anyway. I'm humbled and our little boy is growing up. wow.

Are you on a schedule?

That is a frequent mommy question? I usually say "not really." We eat when he is hungry and sleep when he is tired. Raffi was hungry a lot the first...well he still is. But today demonstrated that we do have a schedule. Or more correctly, Raffi has parameters that he operates under and those are not met; meltdown city here we come. The stroller hike group that I go to changed the hike away from the close trail to farther away. So I felt that maybe we won't go on a walk at all.

Raffi and I were hanging around on the ground in front of the TV watching the golf tourney and I asked him what he wanted to do. He just smiled. So late in the morning, I looked at my belly and decided I needed to go for a walk. As we were driving to the park/trail I saw the sprinkler stains on the car and decided I needed to get the car washed. Bad idea. Mini-meltdown in the car wash. He recovered and we made it to the park, into the stroller and on the trail.

We had gone for about fifteen minutes when I looked at him to say hello. And that was it. Meltdown like Chernobyl. I realized that he should have been waking up from his nap at this point; it was like noon. Mommy messed up. I tried to walk and weave so he would fall asleep. It was not happening. He was upset and no stroller walk was going to soothe this beast.

So to end this story that is dragging in details; we made it back home. Raffi took a nap and ate lunch at 3:00pm. So I guess my answer is yes, we are on a schedule.

Solids (food) at 8a/9a, nap at 11am, solids at 1p, nap at 3p, and solids at 5/6pm. And occasional nursing snacks in between. Then there is play time with Dad, bath, reading and bedtime. So that pretty much sums up my life. Of course it is just the basic structure. It is amazing I can fit stuff in there like yoga, groceries, dishes and such.

Baby Murphy

Why is that when I go to Babies R Us and buy food and diapers the very next day I get coupons in the mail? Why?

Pics

Pic of Grandma and Raffi at the Presidio in front of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Cheerios

Grandma left us today. She had a great visit over the weekend. We (hubbie included!) went to the Presidio in San Fran to take some pics and have lunch. It was quite cold with the icy wind blowing but it was a fun segway(sp?). I bought a new laptop, a macbook, and I'm having fun playing around. Here is a photo of Raffi eating some cheerios.

Raffi has certainly found his voice; he has been exercising it with some loud yells over the past couple of weeks. We all believe that he is just so close to crawling but no dice yet. I was sure that Grandma would entice him to crawl, but her loving charm couldn't achieve a developmental feat for each of her visits. (Her last visit garnered new teeth.)

I'm his mom, so I'm biased, but he is just so darn cute! I just love him to pieces!!!

Found this quote and thought it timely!

I am sure that never was a people, who had more reason to acknowledge a Divine interposition in their affairs, than those of the United States; and I should be pained to believe that they have forgotten that agency, which was so often manifested during our Revolution, or that they failed to consider the omnipotence of that God who is alone able to protect them.

George Washington
more famous quotes

Raffi and friends

This is Raffi and his baby friend Joey. The kiddles and the mommies got together for a mommies night out. Raffi's reserved personality really stood out set next to Joey's extroverted bubbly smiley self. Of course, both babies got lots of attention from just about anyone we ran into.

Raffi also appears to be coming our of his anxiety stage. When people come up to him at the grocery store or during our stroller hikes, he reacts much more positively than he used to. He will even give some smiles before he coyly turns his head.

On Thursday I took Raffi to the dr's office for an issue that turned out to be nothing and he is 18lbs. ! He is getting so big.

Swim lessons

Today was Raffi's first venture into the pool. His "lessons" were at the Y with a gaggle of other parents and children. Raffi overall did good. He did not like the cold rinse off shower, but the pool water was a good temperature. He seemed very indifferent to the situation like he was a film critic or something. I could here him thinking "Hmm. So this is water in a big pool...not very impressive. Why is that little child screaming he is messing up my chi!"

We didn't get any pics this time, but hopefully next Saturday we will have some good ones.

Blogging and 10 months old.

I've neglected my blog. It sat in the corner of the internet just replaying that video over and over for Grandma. But I have returned!

Things have happened, especially last week. Raffi saw a developmental specialist from the hospital and assessed him as an 8 month old, according to that assessment she rated him on a 7 month level. So for this little man and all he has gone through, I'm just fine with that. The specialist felt that his legs were a little stiff (which is a normal consequence of being born prematurely) and also mentioned that exer-saucers were evil (not necessarily her words, but I'm just summarizing for the laymom.) So out went the saucer and the coffee table and in went the blanket and toys, which is long over due anyway.

Raffi additionally had his blood taken two times last week and we have since learned he is slightly anemic so he has started some extra iron consumption. But overall our little man is just as healthy and happy as always. He is doing well with solid food twice a day and soon I will bump him up to 3 times a day.

All that news last week ended up messing with my mind, it was the mother mental roller coaster of various feelings, i.e. worry, worry, oh and worry. Overall I did pretty good in going to God first before I freaked out. I'm now learning to follow up that initial good response with trusting in Him to take care of everything after the initial crisis. That control freak in me just rages at times like these and ... many other times really.

After some time away for vacation and illnesses, Raffi and I have returned to our Yoga class and getting out for a stroller hikes. (Mama needs to walk off those caramels she bought.) Oh, and Raffi is 10 months old today. I can't believe he is just 2 months shy of his one year mark! Wow.

Video instead of words

Vacation and Teething

We just got back from a trip to visit family in Southern California. Overall it went well, there always seems to things that go awry but it was good to show off the little one and hang out. Raffi started getting his first teeth last week. I'm sure they were coming in before I noticed. He is doing pretty well for being a teething baby. Now the frequent night wakings start to make a little more sense.

Raffi's awareness has really increased in the last couple of weeks. It is just amazing. He is going to be a little boy before we know it.

I've posted a video of Raffi in his jumper his Great Grandma got him (thanks grandma!) I couldn't figure out how to rotate it so, sorry about the sideways video.

Doctor, Doctor Help Me

Raphael turned 9 months yesterday and had his 9 month doctor visit. He is approximately 16lbs 10ozs and is 27 inches long. I think he probably weighs more, he was crying while on the scale and it couldn't get an accurate weight. But he is doing good. He also received his last RSV shot. Thank yous and praises to God, that Raffi survived his first winter without any major illness such as RSV. Yeh!

After the doctor visit, we went to Doug's office to show him off. I was a little concerned that we would have a major implosion on our hands after a docs visit, shot and a bunch of strange people staring at him, but he did really well. He was a little apprehensive at first, especially when their was over six adoring fans staring at him at one time. I held him while we walked around and said hi and in a couple stops he was smiling and playing shy cuteness to all the ladies of the office. Then we went to the grocery store and I put him in the shopping cart seat for the first time. Really it would've been easier on me if I had bjorned him, I was so thinking about him the entire time we were shopping I could barely remember what I needed to get it. But he did great and I didn't need to worry at all. So it felt like a momentous step for me. He seemed to say "whatever mom!"

I personally did not have such a great day emotionally. I have not been getting really great sleep and last night my dreams were all stressful. So today I was grouchy, worried and felt sorry for myself. Amazing how quickly I can go from amazing spiritual clarity with the cake incident to weary dreary spiritual blindness. So I ate a whole piece of German Choc Cake from the grocery store. (hhhmmm, notice a cake theme.) Along with the cake, I prayed but really just kept feeling sorry for myself on a myriad of issues; raffi's development, my health, etc.

So tonight, I'm feeling more realistic. I can't seem to remember all that I was worrying about and some scripture has spoken to my soul:

Psalm 61:1-4

Psalm 40:1-3

Oh how fun. I just learned how to do a link. Such simple things amuse me. I hope it worked.

Time Change

This Daylight Savings time stuff is crap. When I was working it was nice to drive home and it would still be daylight. I'm glad for more daylight in the evening. But the change has been a little more off putting then usual with the baby. He seems fine either way, but I'm the one that is out of wack! I'm whining I know. We'll all get used to it and then it will be summer. Weird.

It is fun to watch Raffi play. I recently got him the plastic donuts stacked on the cone toy thing. He loves to eat on them, bang them on the ground and then "ooohh" he'll get enthralled with his toes. You can practically see the wheels turning.

Let me eat cake

I am frequently anxious about many things and lately my devotionals and bible verses have been targeting that weakness. All the standard verses such as "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me" John 14:1 (NLT) have been popping up recently.

Yesterday, we went to Palo Alto's main street to do some shopping and walking around. I was hungry, no shock there, and I had been craving chocolate cake all morning. I figured better to buy one slice of cake than make a whole cake that I eat in a weekend. But as I ordered my sandwich, I decided no, no cake right now. I got my order to go, because hubbie was on a mission to leave.

We got to our car and hungering for a bite I open the container and low and behold, you guessed it, next to my sandwich is a piece of chocolate cake! I couldn't believe it. Did the guy behind the counter think i was cute, did they mess up an order? I thought, God, are you telling me something. I believe the latter. God sometimes speaks in large events, situations or like people; a pastor's sermon. But yesterday, God spoke to me through a piece of chocolate cake, letting me know that he provides all my needs and even some of my wants. He loves me and is taking care of me.

Normal Grocery Day

My height of excitement for today was a trip to the grocery store. There, 3 different people were magnetized by Raffi. I cleaned dishes and made dinner. So all in all quite successful. It is weird when I look back at my day, I didn't really talk to any adult. (not counting doug or my mom.) I could see how many days like that in a row will make one nutty. So next week, it is back to Mama-Baby Yoga and a stroller hike tomorrow. Yeh.

I feel a little whiny today and tired. Raffi is still waking up 4-5 times a night and last night he stayed up for over an hour during one stint. So I feel a little draggy tonight. Of course, instead of being in bed, I'm on the internet. Smart.

Seeing

Raffi had an eye doctor appointment today. (It has been six months since his last one.) He did pretty well through it all. Fortunately, there were no "clockwork orange" eye openers used, much to my relief. Raffi's eyes are straight, he uses both eyes equally and doesn't need glasses. The doc also said he was very handsome. So in all, it was good news. Because of his preemie status he will get his eyes checked out yearly.

As you can tell from the picture posted yesterday, Raffi is sitting up really well. He started sitting up while Grandma was here and has been getting stronger ever since. He is always on the watch for something to grab. He especially likes black and silver shining things; the keyboard, the camera, the phone, etc... I put a colorful toy just within his grasp and No, he wants shining object that is not made for him!

Happy Blah Day.

Today the refrigerator was fixed, unfortunately the part that needed replacing was only covered for a year. The just don't make things like they used to.

I felt that quiet happy confident semi-productive mom feeling today. It appears at random and strange times. I'm not necessarily a miserable wreck the other times, but tired is the word that comes to mind. I took some more pics of my boy sitting up today. I once had a shirt that said "Here comes trouble." In my case in was an underestimation.

Is your refrigerator running?

Thats good, because ours isn't. It is lightly jogging. The bottom drawers seem to be working but everything else is room temp or lightly cool. This refrig strike occurred on Saturday after we noticed the freezer wasn't frozen! Oh life. So the new ranch dressing I purchased is gone, alone with a bunch of other stuff. I was a little frustrated and angry at first. In a bit, I went to God and acknowledged that it is just food and it is just a Frig. And they are easily replaced. Hopefully, the repairman will fix it on Tuesday. And then a Grocery store run.

Prayer request: My excema has come back with a vengeance. My fingers are sore from the infected areas and I have small spots of "irritated" skin over my body. I feel discouraged after the last time it cleared up. I don't want to keep using the topical steroids, because it will become impervious and the side effects. So please pray that my body will heal and stay healed.

Faithfulness

God is faithful. My mother and I are reading The Women's Devotional Guide to the Bible by Jean Syswerda, which goes through main passages/topics of the bible in a weekly format. During the stories of Moses and God's deliverance of the Israeli people, I commented how it truly shows God's faithfulness as did the week before that. My mom wisely replied that the whole bible is a testament to God's faithfulness. So true. It made me think about what a basic concept the bible is. Of course there is so much more. I tell this as back story to the next story I'm going to relate.

God is faithful. I have to repeat it again and again. Because even though I know it to be true, I forget. Even though I have hundreds of examples in the bible and thousands of non-fiction and personal stories out in the world today and in the past to remind me. I forget and focus on my problems and I worry. But God is truly amazing, He forgives my flippancy and reminds and blesses me.

Just a couple of days ago, I was reviewing our finances and our bills. We have been spending more than we are taking in, some things necessary, some unnecessary. The change to one income has been challenging. But anyways. So here I am whining to my husband about our bills and how we will have to dip into our savings again. (I also must put a disclaimer that I know that we are well to do financially and have so much that so many others do not, but as my husband says, I'm just a miser.) Than the next day, our taxes were completed by our tax people and we are getting back a large amount. Thank you tax deduction Raffi! woo hoo! So I stopped and thanked the Lord. Thank You for providing for our family and thank You for so reminding me that You are faithful.

Cold Update 2008

Raphael is sitting up with minimal assistance. I/Hubbie will usually give him a semi-circle buffer of parental soft flesh to fall into. When he is placed on his stomach he is kicking his legs and you can see it in his eyes that he wants to crawl, he just can't quite figure it out.

Info already on the carepage:
Raphael appears to be healing well and I hope he will completely symptom free by the end of this week. He had a fever last Thursday night, which prompted a trip to the doctor's office. He was prognosed with a cold, but hadn't infected his ears or chest. So that was good news. The doc said to bring him back in if he got worse. Thankfully over the weekend he slowly got better. He is only coughing a couple times a day now.

My mom, the grandma, came for a visit this past weekend and everyone had a great time, even with Raffi's cold. It was nice for me to get a break with the extra hands. I even got some time alone! I drove around and wandered around Best Buy. Wasn't too exciting, but it was still nice. Next time I hope to plan ahead and get my hair cut.

First Cold

Raffi has his first cold. He started coughing on Tuesday and it has continued since. So Doug and I have reread all our baby books and haven't yet called the doctor. It is not fun to see your little one sick. Even after a coughing, gagging, throwing up fit, Raffi will return to his happy self pretty quickly. He has been waking up more and for longer periods of time at night. I've been praying that this cold will be short duration and develop into anything serious. So as always, please keep him in your prayers. Thanks.

Also is a pic from our day at the park this past Sunday.

Menag (don't want to spell the rest.)

Food-Since the cake posting, I have tossed the remainder cake and eaten healthier. My focus is attempting to get my vegetables. It seems rather easy to go a whole day and not eat any and that seems bad. I even like veges but for some reason they take more effort than bread and butter!

Activities-I signed Raffi and I up for swim lessons at our local YMCA. They also have a Gymboree style class that I hope to try. I've enjoyed finding and trying out these baby related activities; it is such a different world.

Euphoria/Reality-Regarding my happy post a couple of days ago; I'm glad I wrote it. So on the normal and not so good days it will remind me of the what really is inside me.

Cake binging

I must confess I'm suffering a headache from a several day chocolate cake binge. I got a Kitchen aid mixer recently and a Martha Stewart Baking Cookbook. Two dangerous items in my possession. So I baked a chocolate cake with coffee vanilla frosting (frosting was from a mix, I forgot to get enough butter to make it from scratch). So it was my first cake from scratch, well recently anyway. It was ok, my husband was not impressed. But it was good enough that I've eaten at least 2-3 pieces of cake per day for the last several days. My body finally told me today that its had enough. Headache. Everything is too loud. Fatigue. You'd think I'm an alcoholic. No. A cakeoholic.

Put the cake down and step away from the chocolate!

I can't even begin to think about all the calories I consumed. Argh! I need to go on a stroller hike tomorrow.
-dt

Small measured successes

I feel in general that I'm getting better situated with all this staying at home with a baby thing. While I was pregnant, I had grand plans for all the organizing projects and great meals I would make once I was able to stay home. (Insert hearty laugh here.) The first thing I realized was that I was lucky to go to the bathroom during the day let alone organize pictures or saute chicken with wine sauce.

It has been over six months since Raffi came home from the hospital and Doug went back to work. Just recently, I have felt some measured success in achieving some items on my "To Do" lists and making macaroni and cheese on occasion. I've learned small 20 minute or less increments when Raffi is content to play in his gym, then I can unload the dishwasher.

I've also noticed that it is far easier to go to the mall than to clean the bathroom, but far more expensive. The stroller hikes and mama/baby yoga classes have been a positive activity to get out of the house and connect with other people. Sometimes I get tired, ok most times and I start to whine. Then I think of all my girlfriends who I think almost all have a toddler and a baby, and I am amazed. I don't know how you do it! Two or more of them. oh my.

Overall, I am happy. I love my son and surprisingly (knowing my history, if not that's for another post) I love being his mom. I wouldn't change a thing.

well...maybe I'd have a maid and a bigger house.

Hello.

To all who have followed me from Raffi's carepage. Hello. I started a blog in the fall of 2006, didn't tell anyone about it but my mom and then stopped posting. Since Raffi and his carepage, I felt the creative push to expand to my own site and write about Raffi and whatever philosophical nonsense comes into mind. I hope that this site will also feature better for more conversation by means of your comments. Lots of my friends have children and I know have great tips and advice that I and others would love to hear. I'm still tweaking things here and there so please forgive format changes.

-Darcy

Too much?

I might of done a little too much today. I tried to throw a bunch of stuff in at the same time and was a little overwhelmed. I worked on the mess that is my house, while my friend Julie entertained Raffi and myself. Later I started chocolate chip cookies. This is the first time I used my new kitchen aid mixer and it was awesome. I love it! Then I decided to saute chicken breasts using a new recipe and a wine, shallot, mushroom sauce. In between all this I nursed Raffi and he occasionally napped on my lap. While I was in my cooking frenzy, Doug played with Raffi, which turned to attempted distraction when he wanted my attention. Then I emptied the clean dishwasher and cleaned the dirty dishes. I had made quite a mess and for once didn't want to leave it to Doug. (Although he is a good dish washer.) I got to bed tonight to put Raffi down and I felt tired. Which over all is a good thing. It was productive. One thing is I felt a little rushed and the weird thing is that I haven't routinely felt this since I quit my job. That brings a smile to my face. Staying home and caring for Raphael, I have made my time line oh so flexible. I really enjoy how my lists to do are more flowing ideas or suggestions that I get too when I can. I can use this day to be thankful and enjoy this new daily mantra.

Stroller Hike

I went on a stroller hike with moms from strollerhike.com. It is a great org in the bay area for moms to get out and exercise for free. I was "hiking" with two other moms who happened to be pregnant and they still kicked my but. I'm a wee bit out of shape and really have been for awhile. It would be ironic if after I quit my job and became a mom, I become more healthy. I have been eating more fruits and veges and I hope to keep up with the stroller hikes and mom yoga. I wish I would've connected more in the earlier months with different moms groups. But also when I look at it, I was breastfeeding almost every hour to two hours, so it made venturing out more challenging.

I have felt a little more confident in getting some things done around the house, while managing Raffi at the same time. This past week, I managed to read a devotional, do some laundry, make several dinners, go to baby/mom yoga, meet former co-workers for lunch and I even wore some make-up one day. Woo-hoo! I like progress. It is encouraging.

Starting a new Blog.

I'm experimenting with a new blog. I have been updating Raffi's carepage after he was born and I'm now considering blogging about my daily adventures. As Raffi has continually been healthy the carepage has been more about my adventures as a mom. So I thought I would make my own blog that was made specifically to that point. I can still post photos and you can make comments directly to my posts. I know many of my friends with children have input I would love to hear as well as others.

At this point, I haven't even invited anyone yet to it. So this is really under construction. But hopefully soon it will be full fledged.