One for the Books

I don't know if this was the most humbling moment of my life, but it has to rank pretty high up there. I saw a townhome in our complex up for sale and so checked out how much it was selling for. I already knew we had lost half of our equity the last time I checked, but wasn't prepared for what I saw. We not only lost all of our equity but our now in the hole several tens of thousands. We have been hoping to move in a year or so to get a single family house. This didn't look good; it looked horrible.

I felt the ground drop from under me, even though I was comfortably reclining in my lazyboy with Raffi on my lap. That feeling of weightless panic rose up my body and back down again like a tsunami. Some part of me, I'm not sure if it was my mind, heart or soul said to look to God or we'll all freak out. I prayed right away. It was short and I don't remember it exactly, but it was close to "HELP."

It really shows how much I live my life relying on myself and the constructs of control that I utilize to make myself feel secure.

So I breathed and gave my child a kiss. I now realize we are so blessed that my husband has a stable job, we can afford our house payment, with our tax refund we will pay off our credit card bills and we are learning to live within our means. When I think about these things, I feel like celebrating.

I sometimes wish that God would protect me from all bad things, but I know that is not possible. This world is so broken and I just can't wait for Heaven. I've been singing Amazing Grace to my son recently. I had to look up the lyrics online because I only knew the first verse. I love this part; it reminds me of what is really important and yet to come:

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Yipee!

All-Points-Bulletin! White Female, approximately 30+ years of age, has escaped her home and her 13 month old son. She was last seen carrying golf clubs. Please approach with caution, she has been attached to her infant for a year. She is considered crazed and possibly delusional. End.

Yes. I had mommy time out! Yeh, thanks Hubbie. This actually wasn't the first time, but really it has been close to the 2nd or 3rd time. And this time I feel like I actually used my time well. I went to the driving range and smacked some golf balls, ate some tacos, ice cream and sat at a coffee shop and mulled over some writing ideas. Raffi did great for his daddy, too. Raffi has been very attached to me, basically since November, so it has made it difficult for me to get away. This was such an answer to prayer. Thank you God.