words, not needed

The light at the end of the tunnel.

That last blog has been nagging at me, a dark cloud hanging in written word and all I needed to do was write another post. And I couldn't do it. I really had a bad day. I felt much better the next day. Today, I finally got the dishes and kitchen clean; the house had mirrored my mood this week. It has been a disaster. It was good to do a little cleaning, very cathartic.

In movie, Finding Demo, Dory the fish was singing "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." That sort of rings in my ears but I replace it with "just keep living, just keep praying" and so forth. It is a nice little tune. Raffi's ears are going to get "fixed" and that is a big relief. I hope it helps him stay healthier and increases his developmentally. Oh, and that reminds me of some good news.

Raffi began to feed himself with a spoon on Monday. It was really messy and progressively has gotten better as the week has gone on. It is mainly with oatmeal, it is sticky and a good start for him. We also stopped feeding him baby food. We lasted longer with it than others I believe because we wanted him to eat and he was finicky on a lot of textures. Raffi's broadening his horizons on that front. Besides his stable of pineapple, he has eaten some tangelos and other fruit. I need to work harder on the vegetables. I haven't figured out the way to prepare them that he will eat them. I guess that is the mom's mantra for now on "eat your veges."

I know my family and friends who read this blog are praying for me and I say thank you.

Drip, Drip...

I'm beaten down. It is just that plain and simple. I can admit it, I'm not afraid of looking weak. I sometimes talk a good game of being strong, but really life is hard, difficult and frequently blah. No, I don't have cancer, nor is my home getting foreclosed. Yes, I'm probably being over dramatic, but it is the way I feel. It is like chinese water torture, the constant drip drip of life's annoyances, difficulties and struggles. So now that you are feeling totally down as you read this. I'll just leave you. Nah. No, not yet.

One of my favorite verses is a Psalm which I always forget which number since there are like over a hundred of them. And it is Psalm 61:2 "From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

Yes that is me, crying from the end of the earth to God to pull me to His Rock. Save me! I'm wallowing in my own self pity and mired in a sea of conflicts and emotional baggage. What in goodness name has set me off like this, you might ask? Well, I was in a minor rear end traffic accident. I was rear ended on the way to take my little Raffe man to see his doctor. Side note: He has another cold and of course another ear infection. Thank God, we are seeing the ENT this Thursday. End Note.

So it was a little bumper. My neck and shoulders are a bit sore and stiff and I did go see a doctor this morning, just to check it out. But really, I'm fine. But today, I think the heaviest damage is felt in my soul. I just feel beaten down. So I'm publicly saying, Lord, please help me. Please help me in the inside. In the internal workings of my mind in which even talking to dear mom can't resolve.

I apologize, I was hoping I would have some really uplifting end part to this entry, but it ain't going to happen today. I know it will happen.

Kill the cold with cookies.

I'm sitting in my lazy boy chair while Raffi is taking a nap and pattering away at the computer and doing my devotional. I have another cold, I got it just when Raffi was healing from his last one 5 days ago. And of course Raffi's nose started running today! AHhh. This winter sickness season is killing me. It is nonstop relentless. Once fall came I might as well put a sign on my front door, Out sick for Season see you in May! So what good am I doing to help my cold, Girl Scout Cookies. A nice plate assortment of thin mints, samoas, and my homemade oatmeal cookies. I'm trying to suffocate the cold with sugar.

The pic above is me at one of my mom's groups annual luncheon. We get all dressed up and go play without the baby! yeh. I had a blast although I was bummed I did not win any fabulous raffle prizes. But it was all worth it, and I found a new tea I'm in love with; it is from Pete's Coffee and I'm pretty sure is is Xio's Blend. It blends chamomile and peppermint and it is fantastic.

Well, ok I guess I will talk about my lovely son. He is quite the chatter box this past week. He is utilizing some action words such as "See" when he wants to see or do something. He also says "brush" for brush teeth, etc. Last night he brought me a toothbrush container and said "brush, brush." At the moment, he enjoys getting his teeth brushed, I'm not sure how long that will last. He loves to watch the gardeners outside mowing the lawn and blowing all the leaves around. It is great to see a jump in his language development. We had a lot of great plans this week, but I'm unsure as to what we will be able to manage. Oh well. Back to my cookies....

Walking before the Storm

This morning, Raffi and I went for a quick 20 minute stroller hike to our favorite spot. It was raining a bit before we got there, but was a bit sunnier than the picture of the oak tree suggests. Raffi was interested in the rushing stream, the sound of it grabbed his attention.The scenery was beautiful and I delighted in God's creation. I love the drama in the sky when a storm is approaching. It is just amazing. I can say that I don't like the drama in my life when a storm is approaching, here or on the way out. I'm in a stormy spot at the moment, but I'm not sure what time frame I'm in. Surprisingly, I have joy. Which has been lacking for awhile. I know how easily that joy can dissipate from the simplest annoyance. I'm praying ever more fervently, trying to practice spiritual breathing. So that I live every second for God.

Cute pic

Thank you Mom & Dad

Really this is a shout out to my parents. A huge thank you for all that they do, but specifically on this last visit. It is really difficult to get the simplest house chores done with hubbie and I not the most handiest and with a toddler running around. So it was a great help to have my dad here. He fixed a towel rack, replaced a shower head, fixed my closet rod, various other tasks and weeded and tidied the backyard. My mom took care of Raffi while I got some great alone time.

God is really at work in my life and He is so blessing me with my parents. Thanks mom and dad. And then on Sunday, Hubbie babysat so I could go watch a movie with a girlfriend. Thanks Hubbie. We saw Paul Blart: Mall Cop. It was cute. Yes it is no Slumdog Millionaire (I will see it eventually.) But the movie was a great fun no-thinking escape.

And I did watch a bit of the Oscar's I just can't not watch Hugh Jackman. He is so awesome.

Above is a pic of my mom (grandma) and Raffi at a Farm. Hello Cow.