A bit Better.

Well the days following the last post were not great. I was still feeling pretty sick, I had an embarrassing miscommunication with another lady in my church group, and I was really tired. I knew God was and is with me, but I still wasn't happy about my situation. So I'm learning to walk with God, I just need to walk with Him a little bit happier? But, today, I woke up feeling better all around.

One for the Books

I don't know if this was the most humbling moment of my life, but it has to rank pretty high up there. I saw a townhome in our complex up for sale and so checked out how much it was selling for. I already knew we had lost half of our equity the last time I checked, but wasn't prepared for what I saw. We not only lost all of our equity but our now in the hole several tens of thousands. We have been hoping to move in a year or so to get a single family house. This didn't look good; it looked horrible.

I felt the ground drop from under me, even though I was comfortably reclining in my lazyboy with Raffi on my lap. That feeling of weightless panic rose up my body and back down again like a tsunami. Some part of me, I'm not sure if it was my mind, heart or soul said to look to God or we'll all freak out. I prayed right away. It was short and I don't remember it exactly, but it was close to "HELP."

It really shows how much I live my life relying on myself and the constructs of control that I utilize to make myself feel secure.

So I breathed and gave my child a kiss. I now realize we are so blessed that my husband has a stable job, we can afford our house payment, with our tax refund we will pay off our credit card bills and we are learning to live within our means. When I think about these things, I feel like celebrating.

I sometimes wish that God would protect me from all bad things, but I know that is not possible. This world is so broken and I just can't wait for Heaven. I've been singing Amazing Grace to my son recently. I had to look up the lyrics online because I only knew the first verse. I love this part; it reminds me of what is really important and yet to come:

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Tales from the Land of Germs

Major news to report: Last week I stopped breastfeeding. Raffi was sick and unable to nurse and then really didn't want to, so he basically weaned himself. It is weird. After 19 months. I'm done. And for some that number will see big and others I won't hold a candle to.

Raffi's newest favorite activity is to grab whatever adult is sitting on the couch by the finger and lead them to the kitchen or the front door. Sometimes it seems for no reason at all, he'll just sit and talk to you. It is hilarious. My girlfriend, Julie, was over for the Super Bowl and he took her to the kitchen multiple times, so she had to hide her hands when he came by.

Some other new developmental feats: he points out Cat or Dog and says the word. He was sitting on my lap and the cat was across the room. I asked him where the cat is (without pointing the cat out) and he got up and walked over to the cat and sort of squatted near him. It was great.

And of course, he is still sick. And now both his parents are sick, and it is kicking our butts.

Pooey!

Raffi's cold was not improving as of yesterday, and it had been like 10 days, so off to the doc we went. And...he has a cold and ear infections, again. So that is 3 in the last 3 months, if he gets 2 more than off to the ENT Specialist.

I'm glad that it got diagnosed. It seems when the ear infection gets cleared up with medicine, the cold soon follows. But I wish we had gone in sooner. Raffi is just a happy sick kid. He has had a couple of times of more than usual fussiness. I always think it is teething because he has his hand in his mouth. He definitely has his father's tolerance to pain.

Exercising & Eating

This morning I went on a viguorous stroller walk for 30 minutes. It felt great. Raffi got a little impatient so I had to cut it shorter than I normally would. And then, I went home and ate 4 Milano cookies! And a slice of frittata from last night. hhhmm. So I basically cancelled out my hike, but I think I will keep thinking that the exercise boosted my metabolism. So its all good!

This week is busy, I'm getting ready to host two different playgroups at our place. One on Thursday and another on Friday.

Oh, I am still finding glitter on me from our trip to a Pre-school open house.

I forgot to mention in my super bowl post: I really loved that game!

Super bowl ads, the day, and cooking success.

The Super Bowl ads were pretty normal, some cute and some depressing. Part of me wants to have exciting ads, but yet when they get all gross and perverse as in years past, i don't like it. I guess I complain when they are boring, too. Most ads were normal ads I've seen in the last six months or longer. I guess financial times being what they are; companies are cutting back on the actual production of ads (of course they will spend the crazy money to pay for ad time.) I think the depressing ads needed to go.

Today, Raffi and I went to an open house for a local Parent Participation Preschool. I'm looking into them for Raffi and I for this fall. Because of his age, it is only like once a week. I'm there with him and they play and have activity stations. The place was cool and Raffi had a blast. This is the second one I've been too. I've put applications in with both. I hope we get one of them!

Tonight, I made a simple frittata out of the How to Cook Everything Cookbook by Bittman. It came out a bit dry, I cooked it a little too long. I made it with mushrooms and green onions. Yum. And my husband liked it. Yeh! Success. And it was so easy.

Motherhood

Here is a picture from our trip to the community farm. Raffi is sharing some dirt with one of his toddler friends.




Some random thoughts of the last couple of days:

The lows and highs of mothering are interesting. There is the face we where at playdates and social occasions that we are all the best super moms and then you get home and are just exhausted. A couple of nights ago, Raffi was whining for over an hour and not going to sleep. Exhausted and fed up, I just felt like jumping out the window. He did finally go to sleep and so did I.

And then on the other hand, I love the moment when I pick him up and he wraps his arms around my neck. The times he runs towards me when I'm sitting on the floor and tackles me. He always has the greatest grin on his face.